The Simpsons: Go Big or... Not So Big/ The Burning Shouting Match
This is a fanfiction story in which Homer Simpson and his friend Carl take an embarrassing video of Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers arguing and talk about it on the live news. The Burning Shouting Match "Homer, are you sure this is a good idea?" Carl asked Homer Simpson nervously, who was holding a grey cell phone. "Aw come on!" Homer whined, waving the cell phone in the air. "This is our chance to pull off the impossible prank! Mr. Burns won't know we put a woopie cushion in his chair cushion thingy. He'll think he actually-" "Yeah, yeah," Carl interrupted, looking about restlessly. "I get it." "And besides," Homer continued, opening Mr. Burns's office door slightly and quietly, "we'll have something funny to show the guys." Carl rolled his eyes and suddenly there was a lot of shouting. "Either you learn how to do some of these things on your own or I'm done-!" "Smithers, really, quiet down. My eardrums can't take loud noises like your shouting." "I'm done babying you, Mr. Burns! I've had it!" "You can't just quit." Homer Simpson heard all this and started recording the conversation on his cell phone, trying not to giggle like a little girl. "Try me!" "If you're going to quit, you're fired!" "That's right, 'Baby' Burns, and I'm not coming back!" "Don't be so sure about that!" "That's it! Good day, Mr. Burns!" Homer and Carl snuck away as Smithers stalked furiously towards the office door. The former assistant pushed it open with a loud bang and marched away, not even bothering to close it. "Hehehe! Baby Burns!" Homer looked at Carl and told him, "We just pulled the prank of the century!" ____________________________________________________________________________________________ "Honey, I'm home!" Homer called as he entered the house. "Dad, could you help me with my science project?" Lisa Simpson asked as soon as she saw her father. "It's supposed to be a model for the planet's of the solar system and I don't want to give the teacher just any model." "Sorry sweetheart, but I-" Homer was interrupted by Bart calling, "Dad, my dog took my comic books and won't give 'em back!" "Not now, Bart-" "Homey!" Marge shouted, "the cat got into the peanut butter cookies again!" "Who wants to eat cat with cookies?!" Homer exclaimed, not certain as to what to do. "Anyway, guess what?" "What?" Marge stepped quietly into the room Homer and Lisa were in. "I'm gonna prank both Mr. Burns and Smithers with this embarrassing video of them having a shouting match! Isn't that great?" Marge looked at Homer disapprovingly. Clearly she didn't find this funny. "Homer, how many times have I told you that pranking people like that isn't fair?" Marge asked, crossing her arms. "All I'll do is talk about it on the news. What's wrong with that kind of a prank?" Homer asked, confused. He thought everyone would laugh at it. "Whatever conflict between them is going on," Marge replied, "is nobody's business but their own." "But Smithers quit," Homer whined. "Or Mr. Burns fired him. Not really sure which happened." Marge still disapproved of Homer's plans. "I still think you shouldn't do it," Marge stated loud and clear. "I agree with Mom," Lisa spoke, stepping towards her mother. "This dispute should stay private." "What dispute?" Bart asked as he walked down the stairs. He was being a bit nosy about this. "None of your business, Bart," Marge said firmly. "Aw, come on. It'll be hilarious!" But it was futile. Marge wasn't convinced, Lisa agreed with her, and Bart had absolutely no idea what was going on. Homer was on his own with this one. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Dinner that night was not exactly pleasant. Homer was still planning on pranking Mr. Burns and Smithers even though his wife disagreed, Lisa still pestered Homer about her science project, and Bart kept wanting to know what was going on. Maggie slopped her bowl full baby food on the dog's head and the cat hid under the couch, afraid of getting covered in baby food. It really was unpleasant. "What's dad doing?" Bart asked Lisa, who was working on her science project again. "Nothing, Bart. Now get me that glowstick please!" Lisa pointed to the glowstick impatiently, as if to say get it now, or I'm going to tattletale on you again. Bart grabbed the glowstick and handed it to Lisa. "You're no fun." __________________________________________________________________________________________ "Hello, Springfield!" Kent Brockman, the news anchor, greeted cheerfully the next morning. "This just in, we received a startlingly embarrassing video of Mr. Burns and his assistant Smithers having, as Homer Simpson (who supplied us with this video footage) had put it, a 'shouting match'. Let's watch and see what the two men were arguing about, shall we, hehehe!" Bart, who was watching the news, laughed hysterically when he saw the video. "Best... prank... ever! I gotta tell Millhouse!" Bart jumped off the couch and ran to Millhouse's home to tell him what happened. Marge still wasn't happy about what Homer did. "Homer, it's one thing to plot to put a woopie cushion on Mr. Burns's chair. But this is too much! Suppose you get fired again?" "Don't worry, Marge. It'll be fine," Homer told her, spilling coffee on his tie by accident. "Do'h! ''That was my favourite tie." __________________________________________________________________________________________ "Oh come on already!" Mr. Smithers exclaimed when he saw the news while in Moe's bar. "Can't a guy catch a break? Now people are going to ask all sorts of questions!" "Uh huh," Moe replied, not really listening. He was too busy cleaning cups and other dishes. "You're not even paying attention are you?" Smithers asked, pushing his empty cup away. "Uh huh," Moe repeated, confirming what Smithers thought. "I might as well go home and hide from the public for a while. Thanks for the drink." Smithers slapped down some money on the counter and left, just as Moe repeated "Uh huh" for the third time already. _________________________________________________________________________________________ "Who gave the news people that video again?" Mr. Burns asked his new employee, who happened to be the unfortunate Ned Flanders. "Homer Simpson, sir," Ned Flanders answered impatiently. Mr. Burns had evidently been so desperate to have another assistant that he was willing to hire an ordinary man in the least rich part of Springfield. "A new employee?" Burns still didn't remember who Homer was. "Uh, no," poor Ned answered, desperate to get out of there. "He's been here for years." He clearly didn't want this "job". "Hm. Bring him in." Mr. Burns looked at his watch and said, "And when he leaves, ''release the hounds." "What 'hounds'?" __________________________________________________________________________________________ "Do'h!" Homer exclaimed as he spilled more coffee on his tie yet again. "How many ties have to get ruined?" He grabbed a paper towel and wiped off some of the liquid. "Homer?" Ned Flanders addressed, coming into the safety inspector's office. "Mr. Burn or something wants you in his office immediately." "Do'h!" Homer followed Flanders into Mr. Burns's office. "Leave us," Burns commanded, frowning considerably. Flanders rushed out in an instant. Burns then looked at Homer with a very angry glare. "Do you know why you're here?" "Um... doughnuts? Coffee?... ice cream?" Homer was randomly guessing the most absurd things. "No, you idiot! You're fired, that's why you're here!" Mr. Burns shouted, coughing immediately afterwards. "You can't fire me," Homer whined. "Who's going to be safety inspector? Who's going to make sure that everyone gets plenty of doughnuts and-" "I'll find someone! Now get out of my sight, you incompetent, traitorous... employee I don't even know!" ________________________________________________________________________________________ "He fired you?" Lisa asked when Homer told the family what happened while they ate dinner. "Didn't even say why," Homer replied, taking a beer out of the fridge. "Maybe it's because Krusty was playing in Mr. Burns's bird bath this morning." Bart laughed with his mouth full and almost choked on his food. Marge glared at him and then looked at Homer. "Do you think he'll rehire you?" "I dunno." Homer took a long gulp of his beer. "Ever since that Smithers guy left, Mr. Burns has been grouchier." "You mean 'more grouchy'," Lisa corrected her father. "'Grouchier' isn't a word." "Do'h!" "But I thought he was fired!" Bart exclaimed as Maggie slopped baby food on his head, much to his chagrin. Homer simply shrugged in reply. "Well, obviously we need Homer to get his job back somehow," Marge spoke, thinking. "Maybe you can convince Smithers to help you. He knows Mr. Burns better than anyone." "I dunno. Wait, who's Smithers?" _________________________________________________________________________________________ "Stupid mailman, too lazy to actually bring my bills to the door..." Mr. Smithers slammed the mailbox shut as Homer drove and parked right in front of him. "Hey, Smithers, could you help me?" Homer asked as Smithers glared at him with frustration. "You humiliated me on the news with that video you took. Why would I help you?!" In Homer's opinion, Smithers looked run down. The man evidently hadn't shaved recently and was walking around in horribly stained pajamas. "Wow, you look terrible," Homer remarked, getting out of the car. "Go to a big party or something?" "No!" Smithers snapped. "It's none of your business!" Homer shrugged in response, much to Smithers's chagrin. "You don't get it, do you?" Smithers continued, becoming more than a bit furious. "I'm depressed! There, I said it, you happy?!" "What's 'depressed'?" Homer asked blankly. For a nuclear power plant safety inspector, he was pretty dumb. Smithers facepalmed and just walked away. "Moron." "Wait what about-?!" Homer was interrupted by Smithers slamming the door of his home shut. "Huh. I was going to ask him if he wanted some doughnuts," Homer said to himself, getting into the car and grabbing a box of doughnuts from the back seat. "Oh well, more for me!" ________________________________________________________________________________________ "I thought I told you to release the hounds!" Mr. Burns practically shrieked in Ned Flanders's face. "I don't even know where the hounds are!" Flanders shot back angrily. "You're even worse than my last assistant!" Mr. Burns continued, banging his fist on his desk, only for there to be a popping sound coming from his hand. "My knuckle is dislocated. Fix it at once!" "Are you sure we should be doing this?" Lenny asked Carl as they hid outside Mr. Burns's office, taking video footage. "Trust me, it'll be hilarious!" Carl told him. "I thought Homer got fired for doing something like this just yesterday," Lenny replied nervously. "I thought he got fired because Krusty was playing in Mr. Burns's bird bath." "He has a bird bath?" Carl signaled Lenny to be quiet and they continued to take video. "Ouch!" Burns shrieked loudly. "Can't you put a joint back in place without it hurting so much?!" "Sorry sir," Flanders replied sarcastically. __________________________________________________________________________________________ Category:Fanfictions Category:Stories Category:Comedy Category:Humor